I should probably meet him.
but you have never actually met him.
like drunk person that wants to dance. doesnt know how or what to do and where to start but still does.
I wish more than anything to be able to sleep and be at peace for even a few minutes.
Tonight has not been a good one I’ve been shaky jittery and stuttering all night it feels as if someone just grabbed my arms and threw me around then said go take on the day.
Followed the curse of anxiety attacks where it feels as if a million chains have just wrapped around you squeezing you till you can’t help but burst out creating a mess of every single feeling all at once. And all the while you’re hyperventilating wishing it would go away but all you can do is wish. nothing you do works it’s as if every single part of you that controls something has gone haywire and you can’t fix it. a binding speechless and utterly awful feeling.
Followed by a sleepless night.
And then maybe I’ll be ready for the next day.